Bad (?) Night

So, tonight wasn’t the best of nights. But, let’s be honest – anything past 5:00pm is rough. However …

Wait. What’s that you say? It’s been years since I wrote a post? Well, it’s true. For YEARS I’ve been saying I should get back into blogging. However, my anxiety about NOT blogging for so long made me worried about finally blogging again. Listen – it doesn’t make sense. I can’t explain it. Ask my friend, Zoloft – she needs to explain why she’s not living up to her end of the bargain. We’re waiting, generic name Sertraline.

So, I decided to just get over it. My first post back will be small and insignificant. And I’m totally okay with that (Right??? You’re all totally okay with that? If you’re not, please unsubscribe. I’m kind of a mess and promise that I always will be a mess.).

I realized I’m actually only really blogging for my girls. Before I quit blogging, I printed off each year of blogs into a hardback book. Paige reads them constantly (she’s been warned – I’m always kidding, I love her lots, and also? I really do love her lots). And lately she’s been asking me why I quit writing stories about them. You know what? The only response I could think of was “I’ve been busy.” Which, in my opinion has always been the most idiotic response ever. Because EVERY person is busy, REGARDLESS of what they do. I don’t care what your occupation is – you’re BUSY. Let’s not use it as an excuse. It makes me angry, and even as someone who will cancel plans with you at the last minute because I have crippling social anxiety? Even I draw the line at the “I’ve been so busy” bullshit. Just stop it.

And, viola – tonight’s installment. Enter the “shittiest of nights”:

The story starts with Derrick out of town (no, no – don’t add the dramatic shock sound here – this is normal). The girls had an early dismissal from school, and homework was done by 4pm (post Paige’s kickball practice). The girls lost technology early this morning due to ALL the fighting during breakfast (aka, I forgot to set the coffee maker, so my fuse was SHORT this morning).

The afternoon began sweetly – playing on their scooters and drawing with sidewalk chalk. Then someone must have breathed incorrectly, and the shit hit the fan. A screaming match ensued on the driveway. Did I mention that I live next to the mayor of Indianapolis? And, more often that not, his security is in his driveway waiting for him. I can only imagine they are putting my children on some sort of future watch-list.

Any-whoo – the fight finishes (with multiple red marks on bodies and LOTS of tears). Paige comes in and is oddly easily disciplined. Blair comes inside and calmly asks for a drink of water. This should have been a warning sign. NEVER are both of them easy at the same time. N.E.V.E.R.

Blair comes in, and is hysterical because … I don’t really even know why. Something about Paige not wanting to “play gardening the right way.” Paige claims “we weren’t even playing gardening”. Fast forward to 30 minutes of this insane argument spiraling, and my throat hurting from yelling at them to stop yelling. And then me making them do the worst chores in the house because I kind of hate them just a little bit (when you read this, girls, just kidding – not kidding. Wait until you have kids. The amount of love makes your heart burst, but there’s still room for anger. ALWAYS room for anger).

So, they eventually pull it together and we head to dinner with friends. I’m gonna be honest – they were still pretty jerky at dinner. But, they made conversation with the adults, and they were very polite to our servers. So, I let it go (but they had water to drink while the other kids had Sprite – so BOOYAH!).

Enter the car ride home. Grouchiness hit a level Def-Con. So, I did what any grown woman/parent would do. I pulled the car over, and put it into Park. I turned around and said, “THIS. IS. IT.” With the sternest of faces ever. Then I explained that we were going to drive around the neighborhood for 10 minutes. I was going to play amazing songs (aka, the soundtrack to “A Star is Born”). And the rule was you had to sing AS LOUD AS YOU CAN. That’s it. The only rule – belt it out.

So we did. And the first minute or so, they hated it. But – by the end? They were over their mood. I was over my mood. And we were all feeling ready to hang out with each other and snuggle. Which means watching ‘Fuller House’ right now. Which leads to me also saying a lot of “I’m not sure what’s going to happen to Aunt Becky.” But, I digress.

The moral of the story is, there are FEW things that can’t be solved with driving around and singing at the top of one’s lungs. It’s something I’ve known for years – I’m just not sure why it took me so long to make include my girls in the solution.

Signing off – Paige just asked if we could listen to ‘Rocket Man’ on the way to school tomorrow.

So, I’m doing at least one thing right.