Driving Lessons

As you know, Paige started school almost exactly a month ago. Blair, on the other hand, didn’t start until more than 2 weeks later. So, little girl and I had A LOT of time together. (Not that we were lacking on together-time. The only time we aren’t together is when we sleep…and even then, she’s finds a way to be with me most of the time.)

But over the summer, it was usually the three Feldmann ladies. And, if you know my girls at all, you know that it was basically just a constant power struggle for who got to speak. (Okay, I might also be included in that struggle. But, I’m the mommy! What I have to say is the mostest importantest!!) Once Paige went to school, Blair quickly realized there was A LOT of quiets time for her to fill.

How did she decide to fill said time, you ask?

By critiquing my driving. From the backseat.

Yes, quite possibly the youngest backseat driver ever (My company excluded, obviously. What can I say? She gets it honestly.)

You’re probably wondering what that might sound like, and what advice a 3 year-old might have to offer.

Believe it or not, she’s surprisingly astute:

Mommy, you need to SLOW DOWN! You are going to go to jail!

Mommy, that light is red! Stop. STOP!! STOP!!!! NO! Now go!!! It is GREEN! GREEN MEANS GO!!!!!!

(In the turn lane, where my arrow is red): Mommy! Go! Why are you sitting here?!?!? The light is green! Go, go, go!!! We are berry, berry, late!! (That part is probably true, FYI.)

Mommy, you need to do something at that yellow light. (Crying) I do not know what yellow means! What do we do?!?!?

A few things here:

1) She is very, very aggressive with the delivery of her “advice.” Which means I’m basically constantly being yelled at from the backseat. It’s more than a little stressful, and I sort of feel like I’m driving with The. Meanest. Driver’s Ed Instructor. Ever.

2) I believe my caffeine intake has quadrupled since my “instructor” started. I feel like I need to be on my A game. In actuality, I end up just being over-caffinated. And on-edge from all the shoutiness. It’s not pretty.

3) I have begun to question my driving decisions. AM I driving too fast (maybe)? ARE we late (most likely)? CAN I turn on red here…wait. Remember when I said she’s only 3 years old? Why am I questioning myself when I’ve been driving for almost 10 years (or maybe a few more than that. Zip it.)

She’s persuasive, that’s for sure.

So, if you see me driving and I look stressed, now you know why.

I’m just trying to pass the world’s longest and most difficult (yet simple – it really only focuses on speed and stoplight color) driving test.

Wish me luck.


That sucker may or may not have been an effort to stop the current lesson. And it may or may not have been her third of the day.

One thought on “Driving Lessons

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