Whew – so…what was I saying?

Oh, wait. That was actually almost 3 months ago. Also known as Paige’s last day of preschool.

Aaaaaaaand yesterday was her first day of Kindergarten. Whoops.

We’ve been a little busy. We’ve (mostly) settled into a new house. We spent lots of time outside (mostly easing the girls’ fear of all the bugs in our new backyard. Because, you know. They now play outside a lot. And there tend to be bugs. Good lord, children.).

Both girls did gymnastics camp (STOP. IT. with the final “show” after that. Blair may or may not have pushed some little girl off the uneven bars so she could have her turn. Not to worry – I may or may not have gotten video of it.). Paige did tennis camp (actually, surprisingly uneventful).

We went to the center of the Sun … er, I mean Florida in July, for family vacation.

All in all, it was a good summer. Lots of fun. Lots of fighting. Lots of sunshine. Lots of rain and time inside. You know? A typical kids summer.

And all of a sudden (except the exact opposite of that), it was time for Paige to start Kindergarten.

I have had such a love/hate relationship with the start of Kindergarten. On one had, Paige desperately needs the routine of school. She needs the constant interaction of other kiddos. And, let’s be honest. She needs someone to teach her things. I am not that person. We can’t even get through one Kiwi Crate project without the two of us yelling at each other.

On the other hand, she and I have spent almost 24 hours a day together, 7 days a week. For the past FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. Folks – literally. She is truly like an additional appendage. I’ve been so worried about handing her over to someone else during the day. I embrace the term “Helicopter Parent.” Yep, that’s me. Blackhawk Mom.

The closer the day got, the more my heart felt like it was breaking. Yes, she was a sassy, grouchy, tired mess. But, I was feeling so sad about letting her go. Let’s be honest. As sad as this may sound? Paige (a 5 year old) is one of my very best friends. And I couldn’t wrap my head around going from having her constantly by my side needing me for every little thing, to being gone for the majority of the day and me having no idea what was going on with her.

But, we did it. We had to. I sobbed like a little baby the night before, but the morning of? She was SO excited, I couldn’t help but share in her excitement. I mean, I LOVED school. LOVED it. My Heaven looks a lot like The Container Store and Target school supply section combined.

We all filed out the door. And the obligatory pictures were taken.


Blair said she was going to miss her sister. And Daddy. So….there may be some confusion to clear up here.

SOB!!!! If it weren't for the cuteness of that uniform, I might never recover!

SOB!!!! If it weren’t for the cuteness of that uniform, I might never recover!

Silly pose! A necessity in this house. Duh.

Silly pose! A necessity in this house. Duh.

Blair and I spent the day sort of just waiting around until it was time to pick up Paige. We had high hopes of getting lots done, going to the gym, cleaning, hanging out. Instead, we visited with Nani, Botsie, EJ and Nate, and had bagels. (Either way, a good time was had by all).

We picked Paige up at 1:00 (it’s early dismissal this week for kindergarteners). She looked so little walking out, and she had a HUGE smile on her face. She LOVED it, she said. There was quite a bit of misinformation that I was able to clear up with other moms (they actually DID have recess and she actually DID see two of her cousins.).

I wondered if she would be ready and willing to go back today.

I received my answer at 6:27 am, when Paige arrived at my bedside in her uniform, with teeth and hair brushed, glasses cleaned, and backpack packed. I assured her we had a TAD bit of time, and convinced her to come in for a quick snuggle.

Once it was finally time to go, the three Feldmann ladies piled into the car and headed off. According to my memories from Meet the Teacher Night, I was to walk Paige into school the first day and then start dropping her off in the carpool lane after that. There would be teachers waiting to help her in to find her classroom.

So, I pulled into the carpool lane (having never done anything like this before. Drop her off? WITHOUT ME???). And, um…there was only one person standing there. And I really had no idea what I was doing. And before I knew what was happening, Paige was jumping out of the car and walking into the school.


I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I called my older brother to see if he had dropped my nieces off, and he had (I was going to have one of them walk past her classroom). I explained the situation, and he said he was sure she was fine. But, if I was worried I should go back to walk past her classroom and make sure she was there.

So, I turned around and was driving back, when my sister-in-law called back (I tried her first. Three times.). She said she was SURE she was fine, and that there were probably teachers waiting inside. And that, yes, I was a crazy person if I went back in to see her. (She did point out that no one would judge, but that it would still be crazy.)

I didn’t go back in. I was VERY out of sorts all morning, but e-mailed her teacher to make sure she didn’t get lost and freak out and cry and end up in some random corner of the school and…. Well, it’s safe to say my imagination was running wild at that point.

She e-mailed me back, and assured me that Paige arrived perfectly safe, sound and happy.

And? At pick-up this afternoon Paige let me know that she didn’t need me to walk her in anymore. She was fine to get to her classroom all by herself.

And, just like that. Baby Paige is gone. And quickly growing up Paige is here.

I’ll say it again: SOB.

3 thoughts on “Back-to-School

  1. It’s such a bittersweet thing to send them off! Love your writing Bis! Makes me smile and I bet Paige is a rock star in kindergarten!!

  2. I’ll have to admit that, several times during my reading of this post, I heaved very large sighs!!! These are some of the toughest ‘Mommy Moments’!!

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