TV Rules

Now, don’t be confused. This is not a post on how fantastic television is (think, “TV RULES!!!” Do folks even use that term anymore? If not, I may have to consider bringing it back. No, I won’t. I never even said it when it was “cool.” Never mind.).

This is a post on what I believe is the most important rule for kids to remember about TV. It is this:

Don’t let your parents watch your favorite show too many times. They will use it against you when you least expect it.

Confused? Let me explain.

Paige and Blair HEART the show “Bubble Guppies.” I, too, heart the show “Bubble Guppies” (Nick Jr., I’m looking at you when I say the word HEART … I heart you the mostest.). They are little “mer-kids” that live underwater. (Wikipedia describes them as living “in a fictional underwater city of Bubbletucky.” Um, duh. I think the word “fictional” is a tad redundant here.)

They look like this:

So cute, right? You should hear the songs they sing. They’re catchy, and I’ve been known to sing along. There is a point here.

So, Paige recently became obsessed with the Halloween episode, and has watched it about 300 times this week would watch it 300 times if I would let her. In this particular episode, Nonny (the shy-ish one that wears glasses/goggles) decides to dress up like a vampire for a Halloween party.

Fast-forward to this past Monday. We were getting ready to go out to lunch for my niece Natalie’s 7th birthday.

Another side note. This is Natalie (aka, Swiper – because, yes, she used to swipe people’s things when she was little):


She doesn’t actually wear glasses – she was at Paige’s ophthalmologist appointment with us, and she wanted to try these on. She DOES actually wear things like the sassy scarf she’s sporting, and she DOES carry things like her little journal around in case she wants to draw something. She is also my god-daughter, and those cute cheeks and that sweet smile melt my heart every time I see them. Forget it – every time I even think about them.

She is delicious, and I wish I could carry her around in my pocket all day – that’s how much I love her. But, I can’t. Because now she’s 7. So, that sucks.

Anyhoo. We were headed to Swiper’s birthday lunch and Paige wanted to wear something “special and fancy.” It was, after all, a birthday celebration. And, if you know the Feldmann ladies, you know that we take birthdays VERY seriously. Paige went downstairs to raid her “dress up trunk,” and came into her bedroom sporting a long, red, crushed red velvet vampiress dress.

Did I mention this was Monday? As in, July 15th, 2013? As in, it was about 150 degrees outside?

The following conversation happened:

P: Mommy, don’t I look cute?

M: Yes, Paigers. You really do. But you can’t wear that outfit – it is WAY too hot today.

P: Mommy! It is Swiper’s birthday! I need to look fancy!!

M: I get it. But you need to go find another outfit in the trunk. One with short sleeves.

P: Nooooooo!!!! (multiply these ‘o’s times infinity – a long fit ensued. I’ll spare you the details).

M: Yep. I’m leaving here in 5 minutes. If you want to come with me, you need to be ready. If you want to dress fancy, you need to pick a different outfit.

P: (I can see the wheels turning at this point, and I know something is coming) Mommy, I just saw Nonny wearing an outfit like this today on Bubble Guppies. It is the same day, and he was dressed like a vampire. He had long sleeves and a red outfit just like this, and he was fine.

She’s smiling smugly at this point, thinking she’s got me here. She KNOWS I can’t argue the whole space/time continuum with her, because she pretends like she doesn’t get it. She KNOWS I won’t argue the “make-believe” aspect here because we use other cartoon characters to illustrate good choices. (I love you too, Daniel Tiger, but not when Paige sings for me to “Use Your Words” when I’m frustrated with her and carrying her to timeout.)

Okay, I’m not certain that she knows these things, but I wouldn’t put it past her. 

M: You’re right, he was wearing that outfit. But, you know what? Nonny lives underwater, and it’s always MUCH cooler at the bottom of the ocean than it is here on land. So he would be comfortable in that outfit where he lives. You will be too hot.

P: Nothing. No words. No response, except to pick her jaw up off the floor and walk out of the room.

Yeah, I did.

Yes, I did people.

I got her. I left her speechless and bested her at her own game. I won. I did it.

Let’s not address how proud I am of the fact that I briefly out-smarted a 4 year-old. I don’t care. I’m still living off the glow of that morning.

Oh, and she ended up wearing this:

IMG_3332Muuuchhhh better.

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