Puke.

Like, everywhere. I won’t say literally, because my house is not actually engulfed in puke. But it really seems like it’s close.

I don’t know how I’ve been so lucky, but I’ve made it 4 1/2 years so far with really only one vomiting incident outside of baby spit-up. Which, as a new mom, you think is pretty gross. Well, guess what? It’s not nearly as gross as what happens once they start eating real food. From both ends of the kiddo, if you catch my drift.

Paige has had a cough for the past few days, and two nights ago I was sitting in my bed listening to it get progressively worse. I headed to her room to prop up her head and decided to snuggle with her for a bit. About two seconds after climbing in, Paige proceeded to gag and then vomit. All over both of us, her bed and all of her stuffed animals. And then she proceeded to freak out (obviously). After calling Derrick into the room (from the kitchen, where he practically ran following aforementioned puke), we stripped her, I rocked her, changed the sheets and she and I climbed back into her bed. No puking from her since, so I figured it was probably just a fluke and the result of the coughing.

Until this morning, that is.

Derrick and I were talking before he left for work, and all three Feldmann girls were in our bed. Blair climbed down after giving Derrick a goodbye smooch (side note: she is a FANTASTIC smoocher – she makes smoochy noises and everything). She stood on the floor, gave a tiny cough, and proceeded to puke all over the place. Odd, since this has never happened to her before. Ever. I really don’t even really remember her spitting up much as a baby. In true Blair fashion, she was unfazed and proceeded to run up to her daddy and give him a hug. He left, and the girls and I settled back into our bed to read some books. And by “read some books” I mean I watched “Today,”  sipping coffee and checking my e-mail while they watched ‘Octonauts’ on my iPad.

I was talking with one of my sisters-in-law when all of a sudden Blair puked a little more. “Crap. I gotta call you back,” I told her. And I had just enough time to hang up the phone, move my laptop and turn back towards Blair before “The Exorcist” replayed itself. In my bed. With me right in the crossfires. Again. For the second time. In two days.

Now, this time Blair was definitely fazed. I plopped her onto the floor where the entire scene replayed itself. She cried and ran towards me for a hug. There’s certainly no need to provide an in-depth visual of this. You get it, right? No? She (covered in vomit) ran towards me (also covered in vomit) across a vomit-covered floor. Got it? (Okay, I’ll stop – it’s like a game for me now to see how many times I can try to gross you out.)

Keep in mind she and I are both covered in puke (ha – I couldn’t resist). And Paige is still sitting in our bed, staring at the mess next to her. Not actually touching her, mind you. But awfully close.

So she proceeded to dry heave. In a very fake, over-dramatized fashion. On second thought, I guess you could say “in true Paige fashion.” Those descriptions are interchangeable. Seriously, people. The dramatics are inspiring. It was so ridiculous I wish I had audio of it for her. Alas, I wasn’t thinking about finding my phone at that very moment.

Also? I’m not sure if you remember that above I mentioned that Paige had been sick like this once before. Just after she got her tonsils out. When she puked DIRECTLY ONTO BLAIR. Who had zero reaction except to look at Paige and smile. Jeesh. What a difference a birth order makes.

So, I decided it was probably time to cancel our planned playdate to The Children’s Museum, which led to dry heaving AND tears from Paige. I then decided today was a terrific day for a mid-morning bath and pjs. For all of us.

Oh, and that I now had a great reason to finally get cracking on my ‘Spring Cleaning List’. (Yes, it has a specific title. Yes, it’s a Word document. Yes, it’s two pages long. COME ON, people! Don’t you know me at all?!?!?) I was lucky enough to have done a dry run of washing my sheets, mattress cover and down comforter just yesterday in anticipation of getting started sometime this week. So I got to do it all over again today, as well as clean the rug, mop and sanitize the floor, and wash and iron the bedskirt.

That Blair. Always trying to help her Mommy out.

 

What Guilt Looks Like

Derrick was gone. It was Day 10. Over said 10 day period, I had approximately 3 hours alone. 3 hours, people. Oh, and did I mention that the week before Derrick’s trip started the girls and I had recently come off a 2-week spring break? Where we spent every waking moment together?

Sooooo, I may or may not have had what I like to refer to as a “Bad Mom Moment.” Or maybe two. Or, ahem, maybe a few. (As I write this, I realize it should be a sign that I have enough of these moments to have a phrase I use to describe them. Anyhoo…)

I may or may not have said the word “stupid.” As in, “If you ask about flying that stupid kite one more time, I’m going to throw it in the trash!”

I may or may not said “shut up.” As in, “Ramsey, SHUT UP!!!” (I swear to God, that dog barks nonstop. Especially when he can sense I’m about 30 seconds away from completely losing my shit.) Oh, and Paige may or may not have repeated the above phrase about 10 minutes later. While we were in our backyard. And the neighbors on both sides of us were also in their backyards. Oops.

Well, that’s about it! A horrible day, mommy-wise.

Fine. I may or may not have dropped an f-bomb. In front of my kids. While talking to their daddy. As in, “If you ever leave home again this fucking long, just plan on finding someplace else to live.”

Yep. Stellar, STELLAR parenting happening over here, peeps.

So, I put the girls down for their naps and came up with a plan to get the hell out of the house do something fun for dinner.

In other words, try to bribe my kids out of forgetting this day ever happened.

So, my friends, THIS is what guilt looks like:

 

What's that, girls? You want your Susu to come over and go to dinner with us? Sure!

What’s that, girls? You want your Susu to come over and go to dinner with us? Sure! Oh, and you want to run down the Monon like crazy people instead of being strapped safely into your stroller? You got it!

IMG_2819Huh? You'd like to stop and get ice cream even though each of you took only a few bites of dinner (and I let you have orange soda and mac 'n cheese)? You betcha!

Huh? You’d like to stop and get ice cream even though each of you took only a few bites of dinner? And said dinner was orange soda, guacamole, and mac ‘n cheese)? You betcha!
Pardon? Oh, you'd both like the messiest, sugary-est flavor they have? Blue Moon? But of course!

Pardon? You’d both like the messiest, sugary-est flavor they have? Blue Moon? But of course! Absolutely!

Also included in this evening: a bubble bath with extra bubbles, TWO shows before bedtime, and an extra book each in their beds.

Let’s not make this a habit, okay girls?

The “working a guilty mommy” part, not the “mommy swears and says things she shouldn’t” part, that is. Obviously.

Sleepover

Ugh! Sorry I’ve been MIA lately! Derrick is traveling, the girls have both been sick, I’ve been losing my mind … wait. These are the makings for a wonderful, separate post. Yep. You’ll get to hear all about our ‘daddy-less days’ soon enough.

In the meantime, I thought you would like to know that Paige recently had her very first official sleepover. Not to be confused with her sleep study. Which we stupidly called a “sleepover” with Mommy. But, on the plus side we unintentionally set the bar SUPER low for any future sleepovers.

Needless to say, this adventure FAR exceeded any expectations. We had my youngest niece Addison (or, Addie-Honey, as we call her) over to stay the night, and fun was had by all. Except maybe occasionally by Blair, who quickly (and unwillingly) took on the role of ‘younger sister.’ Paige decided she didn’t want Blair to play with them, which led to lots of tears (for Blair), a few timeouts (for Paige) and lots of “why are they crying” questions (from Addison).

Ahem. Welcome to our house, Addie-Honey.

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We set up the tent the girls got for Christmas (thanks Aunt Gail and Uncle John!). It was a little chilly, but they had fun playing “camping” in the yard (and Blair got to play too – in fact, she just hung out in the tent most of the time. Smart girl.).

"Quiet time" - which meant the girls watched a movie. But not before changing into their jammies (we all blame their Nani for this - she believes no nap/quiet time is a success unless jammies are involved. Which is probably true, actually)

“Quiet time” – which meant the girls watched a movie and had popcorn. But not before changing into their jammies (we all blame their Nani for this – she believes no nap/quiet time is a success unless jammies are involved. Which is probably true, actually)

More playtime outside!

More playtime outside!

Then snacks ... duh.

Uncle Derrick took the girls to Dairy Queen. They tricked him into letting them order waffle cones. Rookie.

Pre-bed 'Peppa Pig.' I was in the kitchen while they watched most of this. But, not to worry - I was alerted each time Peppa Pig appeared on screen. By all three girls screaming "PEPPA!!!"

Post-bath/pre-bed ‘Peppa Pig.’ I was in the kitchen while they watched most of this. But, not to worry – I was alerted each time Peppa Pig appeared on-screen. By all three girls screaming “PEPPA!!!” and then oinking loudly.

D joined in to see what all the fuss was about. And maybe snuggle some squeaky clean girls.

D joined in to see what all the fuss was about. 

The scene in my bed at 6:35 am the next morning. (D left for his trip about 3 hours prior to this shot.). PLENTY of room for one more. And Addie Honey is an EXCELLENT snuggler.

The scene in my bed at 6:35 am the next morning. (D left for his trip about 3 hours prior to this shot.). PLENTY of room for one more. And, who knew? Addie-Honey is an EXCELLENT snuggler.

Our special guest requested Mickey Mouse pancakes. (She also told me her Mimi made Minnie Mouse pancakes, but I think she was messing with me.). This was my first-ever attempt. I need to practice.

Our special guest requested Mickey Mouse pancakes. (She also told me her Mimi made Minnie Mouse pancakes, but I think she was messing with me.). This was my first-ever attempt. I need to practice.

The girls were very, very good. Derrick and I got to have our first experience of sitting in the living room and listening to the sweet sound of little-girl giggles well past their bedtime. Which, for preschoolers, is really only until around 9:00 pm or so. He left basically in the middle of the night, so it was nice to have an additional snuggle bunny the next morning.

I think it was a success. The Feldmann girls were melting down and throwing fits the next day. And apparently Addison got home, tossed herself onto her mommy’s lap and sobbed. Her mommy said she was tired. I think my girls’ probably stressed her out. Or, most likely, a combination of both.

Sleepover. Feldmann style. You’ll have so much fun, we’ll make you cry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

R.I.P. Bunbun

Those of you who know Blair well … or even at all … or really have ever even seen her … know that her Bunbun is a constant presence in her daily life. I can’t even link to all the past posts Bunbun has appeared in, because it would be too many.

Bunbun accompanies her during the good times:

photo1 Airplane!

And the, well, the not-so-good times:

Observe Bunbun over her shoulder

Observe Bunbun over her shoulder

In fact, you could almost do a “Where’s Waldo”-type search in most of our pictures. I’ll put my money on Bunbun being in there somewhere.

This past weekend we were in Chicago for Easter. Saturday night after the Feldmann family dinner we headed back to the hotel, and somewhere between parking our car in the parking garage half a block away from the hotel and out hotel room, Bunbun went missing. It was raining. The girls were crabby. We were rushing. We missed the drop.

And all hell broke loose.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a moron. We have an extra Bunbun that I constantly swap in and out so they wear at the same rate. But the other Bunbun does NOT come on vacation, or any trips, with us.

Cue the LONGEST. NIGHT. EVER.

We tried to put Blair to bed without Bunbun, and to say she was hysterical would be like saying a Honey Badger can get a little testy sometimes. Derrick left to comb the streets for Bunbun, even going so far as to walk into restaurants near the parking garage to see if anyone had turned Bunbun in (what a good daddy). They hadn’t.

I decided it would be best to let Blair sleep with the only thing in the world she loves more than Bunbun. Me (lots of days this doesn’t seem to be true, by the way).

Thus began a constant cycle of her falling asleep next to me, hitting me in the face, waking up, yelling sadly for “Bunbun!” (in “Stella!!!” style), climbing onto my belly, flopping facedown on me, and falling asleep.

Every. Fifteen. Minutes. The entire cycle started over.

No joke.

She was exhausted. I was exhausted. Derrick was exhausted (though I think he slept more than he realizes … based on the loud snores coming from his side of the bed). At one point he tried to put Blair back into her bed, she screamed, and he picked her up and screamed right back at her.

It was a really special moment for our family.

The next morning was Easter, so there were plenty of distractions to take Blair’s mind off of her missing friend. The ride home was fairly uneventful. Mostly because Blair slept almost the entire way.

We got home, gave her Bunbun, and it was like she realized the true meaning of Easter. Bunbun had been resurrected, and she was thrilled. She screamed, got on top of Bunbun, and gave him a little hump (which is what she usually does when she sees him).

We had a friend give us a similar bunny she had at her house that no one used. At first Blair seemed to not notice the difference. Then she woke from her nap yesterday saying “Das no white” over and over again. Paige and I thought she was telling us Bunbun wasn’t white (which is true – he’s yellow). But then I thought about it and asked her “That’s not right?” She vehemently shook her head ‘yes’ and repeated “Yes! Das no white!!!” as she pointed to faux Bunbun. (Her Susu also bought her a new Bunbun, but it was the wrong color. When I tried to hand it to her she smiled, then tossed it to the ground. It’s cute, she probably thought, but it doesn’t belong here.)

Yikes.

So, we’re sticking with this new Bunbun for a while to see if it grows on her. The Bunbun we still have is the original one with her name stitched into it, so it will not be joining us on any trips. Ever.

R.I.P., original extra Bunbun.

You will be missed.

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In my head I’m hearing Sarah McLaughlin’s “I Will Remember You” as I look at this picture…

Easter in Chicago

We typically spend Easter here in Indianapolis, but this year we decided to switch it up a little. One of Derrick’s cousins invited the extended family to an Easter dinner at their new digs in Chicago. And, well … they had us at ‘Chicago.’

Here are a few pics from the weekend. I didn’t take nearly enough. I went into the weekend with the philosophy that they could eat all the candy they wanted from Friday until Sunday at bedtime (within reason … we didn’t need to clean up any puke). The girls got LOTS of Easter goodies, ate LOTS of candy, and had LOTS of fun getting spoiled by Gramma, Grandpa and Aunt Tricia.

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Some pre-Easter weekend pancakes (it’s a rabbit’s feet and bottom)!

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Blair checking out the new Nordstrom catalog on the way up – my budding fashionista.

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Opening Easter baskets from Gramma and Grandpa (or “Pop Pop,” as Blair calls him) in our hotel room. It’s becoming clear that our girls love hotels as much as their parents.

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Paige watching a pre-dinner show on the iPad while Grandpa catches a few post-bar zzz’s.

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My cute little bunny (at the Kimpton happy hour, natch)!

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Using chopsticks, and VERY pleased with herself!

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The girls and I enjoying our HUGE tub after dinner (no, I don’t usually wear a swimsuit when I bathe with them, but I thought my in-laws might appreciate it if I did just this once).

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A post-bath snuggle with Gramma. Precious.

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Saturday morning cartoons in the hotel!

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Enjoying the little park near the Water Tower! Have I mentioned we are ready for Spring? And how much we love Chicago?

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Showing off their new Easter outfits (and, no, to answer your question – the headbands did not last long).

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Paige and her “fairy godmother,” Rita (Rita is Derrick’s godmother, and Paige has dubbed her “fairy godmother” since the day she learned this tidbit).

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Rita hid some eggs a little too high, but luckily she was there to help out (and we all got a laugh!).

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Blair making sure she gets her share.

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So stinking cute …

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Even cuter!

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See how cute we are?

Then this happened:

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A little post-dinner wrestling match. We obviously left for the hotel right after this …

All in all, we had a great time. Except for one small hiccup. Okay, a pretty big hiccup. One that deserves it’s own post.

So, stay tuned.