Good Lord. How on Earth do we ever forget? How can we not have it SEARED into our brains. How is it not tattooed somewhere on our bodies, lest we not remember (stretch marks aside, obviously)?
How are we always taken by surprise when we realize … what having a 2 year-old is like?
You know how? Because the switch from sweet little baby to emotionally charged toddler is sneaky. It’s almost like it happens overnight. Like someone flips a switch inside their tiny, developing brains. And all hell breaks loose.
I was talking to my sister-in-law, EJ, the other day (girl has FOUR kids…including one who will be going through this change near the end of this year. Merry Christmas, Whitacres.). I think our conversation illustrates well just how moms:
Me: “I’d like to know who the hell sent Blair the memo that it’s time to start acting like a 2-year-old. She’s throwing fits non-stop, is horrible to take into public places, and goes from smooching me to trying to scratch my eyes out in the blink of an eye.”
EJ: “I don’t know who it was, but I bet is was a 3-year-old.”
And you know what? She’s right. Because here’s a little secret no one tells you before you have kids (if you only have one child and he/she is 2 or younger, stop reading now): the only thing worse than a 2 year-old, is a 3 year-old. The irrationalness (is that a word? Spellcheck says no.) continues, but then they try to negotiate with you that their craziness is actually a good idea, and that YOU are the crazy one. I spend many a day … okay, most days … okay, EVERY day, wondering if maybe we should have had cupcakes for breakfast, or perhaps licking people is something that’s okay to do, or if throwing toys in the toilet really is the right way to get them clean.
Blair turns 2 in just over 6 weeks. And let’s just say she has gotten the memo, read it, memorized it and burned it to erase the evidence. Most likely so I couldn’t track the
little bastard’s author’s handwriting.
This? Is what ‘getting our coats on’ looks like. Every. Single. Time. Yes, that includes whenever we’re out in public. See that water bottle? She threw it at me. See that pink sneaker? That’s Paige taking a few steps back from this monster.Sort of makes you want to stay home until summer, doesn’t it?