Unbelievable

You aren’t even going to believe this.

We flew to Florida last night and the girls were … well, they were good.

No. They were GREAT.

Okay, let me back up.

The day did NOT start off well. We were only two days past the craziness of Christmas, and we were facing our second day stuck in the house thanks to the Blizzard of 2012. Let’s just say the girls worked together very well – tag-teaming to keep the Time-Out seat warm. Around 9:00-ish (am, everyone. am) Paige threw a 47-minute fit because she couldn’t reach her piggy bank.

Forty. Seven. Minutes. I wish I could say that was an exaggeration. (You’ve got to hand her this – she’s taking the weeks leading up to Oscar season VERY seriously. At one point, she threw herself across her bed and yelled “You don’t even love me! You just hate me!! I’m serious!!!!”)

Blair dumped her breakfast all over the floor. The kiwi was a pretty quick clean. The oatmeal, not so much. Ramsey, I never thought I’d say it, but I miss you. I’ve never had the vacuum and the mop out so much in 4 days!

To say my expectations for our 7:15 pm flight followed by an hour car ride were low would be a drastic understatement. I may or may not have made the following announcement at the beginning of the ride to the airport:

“Let’s just all keep our expectations for tonight as low as possible. That way, we’ll be pleasantly surprised if things go even remotely well.”

Well, color me surprised.

We got through the check-in process and security quickly. The girls even earned Junior TSA badges … which, come to think of it, might actually be an insult. They were being sweet and smiley, I promise.

Derrick and I took them to an actual sit-down restaurant. With menus and everything. And we didn’t draw stares. Not once. (Okay, they did both have iPads in front of them and headphones on, but honestly … we were going to do whatever it took to make this evening at least tolerable.)

At the gate, the girls sat on the floor and watched a movie on my laptop. I was pleased, but not optimistic. People smiled with that “Oh, look at those cute little girls” look on their faces and I just smiled back and thought “Wait for it, folks. You have NO idea how horrible these girls can make the next few hours of your lives.”

We boarded the plane with relative ease. Granted, we were in Business Class (thanks for the upgrade, Nani and Botsie!!), but still. At a certain point it doesn’t matter where your seats are located. You still have to tie down put seatbelts on two excited, tired, wriggling kids.

At the rest of the flight was uneventful. Even with Derrick across the aisle. Hand to God.

The girls had suckers during takeoff and gladly handed them to me with the promise of an iPad. They watched some ‘Doc McStuffins’ and ‘Daniel Tiger.’ And when Blair started getting restless, I put lullabies on my iPod and she quickly fell asleep on my chest (yes, this flight was brought to you by Apple).

Ladies and gentleman: I got to have wine. Not whine. WINE.

Paige watched ‘The Sound of Music’ for the rest of the flight, and we landed without incident.

Okay. This is the point in the story where you might start thinking I’m just making shit up.

After we deplaned, we were walking to the bathroom when a woman turned around and said “Oh my gosh. Your girls were SO well-behaved on the flight!”

Oh. My. God.

This wasn’t just any woman. It was the woman who had been sitting in the row directly behind us.

Folks – people say a lot of things to me about my kids.

So cute! Thank you. But don’t get too close – they’ll scratch your eyes out.
So funny! I know, they definitely make me laugh.
So much energy! Really? I hadn’t noticed.
So smart! Let’s hope they use that for good one day, and not evil.
So loud! Um, that’s not a compliment … but I agree.

But so well-behaved? Never. Never in their entire lives.

I wanted to cry.

Both girls slept the entire car ride from Tampa to Longboat Key, and quickly went to bed once we got to the condo. We were flabbergasted. Botsie, Nani, Derrick and I just sat around staring at each other. We kept saying “They were so good!” As if we had just discovered that the Smurfs were real or something equally as unbelievable (sorry for the spoiler, fellow Smurf Fan Club members – I too was disappointed to find out they were make-believe. Gargamel and Azraell, not so much).

Let’s just say I’m pretty sure last night was my double rainbow. My 4-leaf clover. My winning Powerball ticket. My … well, you get the point. I’m certain this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

And I’ll take it. My belief that I was a good mom was restored, albeit for a fleeting moment of self-satisfaction.

Never fear. Ive been brought back down a few notches today. They’ve been decent, but Paige has already been in Time-Out more than once (she remembered where it was from last time) and Blair didn’t nap.

But for that one, brief, shining moment we were THAT family.

And my girls were “so well-behaved.”

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