Ho, Ho, … Eh

I’m pretty sure my girls have called Santa’s bluff. (Or, ‘Snanta’, as we call him in our house).

Don’t get me wrong. They LOVE the idea of Santa. Paige stops dead in her tracks every time he pops up on TV in a book. And Blair can “ho, ho, ho” with the best of them.

Paige knows he’s magical, and that he arrives inside our house through our chimney. She knows he is the one who fills the stockings, and that he LOVES milk and cookies (so she obviously knows he’s not an idiot – who doesn’t love milk and cookies?!?).

She has written her letter to him, and asked for a pink bike (sorry, Paige – Santa only made purple AND pink bikes this year). Oddly, she said that Mommy and Daddy want new computers. Poor Blair only wants a candy cane, which I’m guessing Paige would probably take away from her and eat anyway.

She also knows that in order for said gifts to arrive, she must be a good girl. She knows there is a ‘Naughty’ list and a ‘Nice’ list. And, she has been told MULTIPLE times over the past few weeks that her name is probably going back and forth between the two.

Here’s the thing. She doesn’t care. Seriously doesn’t give one sh… well … you know.

We have taken her gifts away, and she is well-behaved just long enough to earn them back. Then she starts the ‘losing them’ process all over again. I’ve talked to Santa on the phone with her in the room, and she has the nerve to throw a fit within his earshot. She’s even pushed her sister down right in front of Rudy, our Elf on a Shelf.

Get this: the little punk even lied right to his face and told him that she had been a “really good girl” this year.

She’s got balls – I’ll give her that.

Maybe ‘4’ is the age where the threat of Santa starts working on behavior? Perhaps ‘3’ is too young (never mind the fact that she will actually BE 4 in less than a month)?

Let’s hope, because I’m pretty sure Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. NOT the most let’s-see-how-angry-we-can-make-mommy-because-her-face-looks-crazy-when-she-yells time of the year. (As I’m writing this Paige just sat on top of Blair and elbowed her – and Blair retaliated by ripping her glasses off her face. Such a sweet relationship.)

As for Blair … well, let’s just say the “ho, ho, ho” part of Santa is the ONLY part she is interested in this Christmas.

Yes, they are wearing Halloween jewelry – this was at a meeting celebrating the success of the Haunted House … and just to confuse my kids a little more I had them wearing Halloween stuff while they sat on Snanta’s lap. I am SUCH a good mom …


Here’s looking at you, Christmas 2013.

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