Morning Time

Here is a sneak peek on what happens in our house. Before 9:00 am.

Now, mind you, I didn’t actually start documenting until around 8:00. This was about 20 minutes after Derrick left and I was more than halfway through my cup of coffee. Aka, ‘Mommy’s Medicine.’

I began by attempting to put the duvet cover back on our down comforter (because it’s been sitting clean in our room for more than a week). This turned into a game of “let’s pretend this is snow and jump around like crazy people.” We actually end up playing some version of this at least 4 days a week … or however many days a week I end up making the bed (whichever is more … probably 4 … sorry, Dad. I know this is killing you to read.).

This is ironic because both of my girls HATE being cold, and when Paige was given the chance to do a snow angel last year she threw a fit because her coat got wet and she got snow inside her hat. She quickly ran inside and declared that she was done with snow.

Anyhoo …

Please ignore the laundry in the background…
Blair is missing from this one because she rolled off the pillow and into the closet.
Actually, DON’T ignore the laundry in the background! How freaking ridiculous is it that I JUST put away an entire laundry basket full of clean clothes, and this is what is waiting for me?!?!

It finally ended when I had enough and told them I needed to actually accomplish something before getting myself dressed (I’m not sure why I didn’t count getting them dressed???). Paige declared me “rude,” told me she didn’t want to play with me anymore, and took Blair into her room to play.

Oh, and she shut the door so they could have “privacy.” I’m not sure if you’re keeping score, but I absolutely count this as a point in my column.

Then she came back in, gave me a hug and said “Happy holidays, Mama.” These mixed messages are difficult to decipher.

Which, come to think of it is probably part of her plan.

Shit. Point Paige.

Then it was time to brush our teeth (or “TEEF!!!” as Blair likes to scream as she runs to the bathroom). Anyone not currently a parent to children this age would be shocked (honestly, SHOCKED) to either learn or remember how long this process takes.

Sidenote: this is the first point of the morning where I wonder how the hell moms who work actually get out the door in the morning. Notice I say the first point. I’m actually not sure how they even get themselves dressed in time to get anywhere before 9:00 am. And my kids get up at 6:00.

Luckily, this morning I had a little help. Which was pretty nice. And more than a little cute.

Finally, everyone is dressed. Hair is done (or brushed, which are synonyms at my house). Beds are made. Laundry is put away.

We head downstairs so I can write this blog and check e-mail get the rest of the morning’s activities done. Which include cleaning up cat puke, reprimanding Ramsey for eating the girls’ breakfast leftovers off the table (yes – off the MIDDLE of the kitchen table), switching the laundry, emptying the dishwasher, talking about poop, changing poopy diapers, packing snacks, telling my little dementia patient (Paige) for the 200th time what our plan is that morning … you get the idea.

How does she get this all done, you ask? Is she some sort of magician, or a Super Mom? How does she do it (besides sweatily, that is)?

Nah. I’m actually just standing in front of them reading a book.
Or … um, that may or may not just be the general direction of where our television is hung. I’m not saying it was on. Okay. It was.

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