It’s been a crazy week (and, yes, I realize it’s only Tuesday), so I thought I’d entertain you all with some recent ‘Paige-isms’:

Oftentimes, Paige is the life of the party. For example, she regularly grabs her drumstick, pretends she’s a conductor, and says to me (loudly, and quite bossily, I might add) “1,2,3,4,7,10 – hit it!!!!” After which, I am expected to immediately burst into song. Not that I actually know which song I’m expected to sing. Usually I pick the wrong one, just FYI.

Also, Paige likes, ahem, making her presence known when she enters somewhere. For example, an arrival at walk Nani and Botsie’s house is typically announced with a loud “Let’s get this party started!”

Sometimes, she’s surprising me with her knowledge of words I had no idea she even knew (note to self – I’m guessing she’s picking them up from me. I should probably clean it up a bit.). She reprimanded Blair one day by yelling “Bear Elizabeth! Don’t spill your bottle! You are making me SO upset right now!”

She also was enjoying a piece of bubblegum and said to me, “Mommy, this gum is very interesting.”

Or, the time we were on the boat and Botsie was having to drive around and around in a circle because the motor seemed to be dragging. She turned to me and said “This is a calamity.” It really was – mostly because we were giving poor Bots a hard time.

Other times she’s this close to understanding a word. She tries it out a variety of ways until she seems to find a way that works. For example, after finding out that her cousin was coming to lunch with us she turned to her and excitedly said “Addison (pronounced “Addy-son”)!! You are coming to lunch too!! That is so acceptable!”

Hmmm…not quite. She tried again a few days later. I asked her if she had fun at a party. Her response? “It was fun, Mommy. But not too much fun. It was acceptable.” Nice. I agreed. It was acceptable.

Most of the time, she’s making me (and others) feel rather silly…or really just like a big ol’ idiot. Like when she was making me laugh and I asked if I could be the President of her fan club. She informed me that “That’s a very important job, Mommy. I think I will be the President, okay?”

Or, the time when we were at Benihana and the chef was doing the ‘shrimp in the picket’ trick. She politely raised her hand and told him, “Um, excuse me. You should not throw food.” Poor guy. Never had a chance.

Or today, when I was trying to get her to tell me what she said to her class about the pictures of her pets she took to school. Finally, after about 10 minutes of me begging her to tell me something, anything about her day, she said “Okay Mommy. I told them ‘blah, blah, blah, blah.’ And that’s it.” Yikes. Message received.

And then other times, she reminds me that she’s only 3 1/2. And that I wish I could freeze the way kids this age talk so they never grew out of it. Sure, it would sound a little silly for adults to say things like “Holy cow! I am soak and wet from playing in that sprinkler!” or “Speaking of walruses (we weren’t) I think I’d like an Icee.”

Or, one of my recent favorites. We were in the bathroom at Paradise Cafe a few weeks ago:

Paige (loudly) announced: “Pew, it stinks in here, Mommy! It’s disgusting! Why does it smell so bad!”
Me: “I know honey. That’s because the potty is where things come out of people’s bottoms. It can be gross.”
Paige: “Well, it’s disgusting. And I’m TRYING to think about donuts here!”

Well said, Paige. Well said.

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