I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this or not, but Blair has a secret. She’s super duper cute, gives the best kisses, has the cutest belly laugh … honestly, you would think she’s the sweetest little girl ever.
And that’s where you’ve made your first mistake.
That little girl will turn on you in a second.
Let me illustrate: she made Paige cry four times today. Nay – four times today before breakfast. Paige wouldn’t let her have her “sippy dip” (chapstick), which was actually per my instructions. Blair’s response? She simply leaned forward, grabbed a chunk of Paige’s blond curly hair, and pulled. I mean, pulled really, REALLY hard. Like, ended-up-with-a-handful-of-hair hard. Derrick and I can’t be certain, but we’re pretty sure Blair looked at the hair in her hand and seemed almost disappointed with her yield.
So, next Blair decided to go after the entire “sippy dip purse” instead (a sparkly purple purse that Paige carries EVERY-FREAKING-WHERE). Paige yanked it away and said “No, Bear!” Blair leaned forward, grabbed her big sister’s arm, and placed it in her mouth. And bit down. Paige screamed (duh – it’s Paige we’re talking about here) and I tried to break things up by pulling Paige’s arm out of Blair’s mouth. Blair’s response? That little stinker (not the actual word I wanted to use here) went after me!! Seriously – mouth wide open, trying to get to me as fast as she could (it doesn’t help that she has a mouthful of teeth – we’re pretty sure she’s part shark).
Fast-forward about 30 minutes, and Blair is literally chasing Paige around the kitchen trying to bite her. I swear to God, my advice to Paige was “Run away! Paige! Run away!” It was seriously like a Monty Python movie in our house this morning.
This? Does NOT bode well for our future. A cutie pie who is secretly a sometime-cannibal?
People – consider yourselves warned.