Let’s Go Camping! Or, Maybe Not

Remember that one time when we sent Paige to summer day camp at what is one of the top private schools during the school year? And the first week she came home with … um, unimaginative crafts?

Oh, and remember that other time when we sent her back for another week of camp and both days I’ve picked her up this week they have been WATCHING TV?!?!

No joke, people. Paige and her bestie, Audrey, are back at camp. Audrey’s mommy and I made sure they would be in the same class this time, so I think they MAY have been looking a little more forward to it (but, honestly, not much. In fact, I may or may not have issued a threat yesterday that may or may not have sounded a lot like “Seriously, Paige! If you don’t get in here and brush your teeth, I’m not going to let you go to camp! Don’t you want to go to camp?!?!?” And she looked at me, shrugged like a teenager and gave a determined “No, I don’t really want to go.”)

So, off to Cub Camp, Take Two.

Drop-off was a little rough, but Kelly and I walked back in for pick-up and were sure it had been a better day. And then we realized all the kids were plopped in front of a screen (albeit it a projection screen – I did say private school) watching ‘Pokoyo.’ Not even a freaking documentary or Sesame Street about camping or something (if you’re interested, there is a hilarious one featuring Chris and Elmo. Wow. My life is sad sometimes). Freaking ‘Pokoyo’! That kid doesn’t even talk, and his bestie is an elephant that wears a backpack. I can just picture myself trying to explain to Paige why there are no elephants on our next camping trip (the answer will be that “they don’t allow elephants in hotels, honey. You get to sleep on the floor though in your cute princess sleeping bag – this is camping!” Isn’t it fun! Now, go to sleep so you’re rested for room service in the morning!”).

I asked Paigers if she had fun. Her response: “I had fun, but not a lot of fun.” God, I love toddlers. If only we all had that candor.

Day Two: We walk in and, yep, kids are plopped in front of the “TV” again. It is more of a ‘documentary-feely’ movie, but still. It’s the freaking TV. I tell Paige she can stay to watch a little more (I mean, Kelly and I had stuff to talk about, and an old college friend of mine has a son in that class too. I’ve got gabbing to do!). The teacher actually looks at me and says, “It’s okay, we’re going to watch it again tomorrow.” Oh. Um, good?

And, in true toddler-parent fashion, I grilled Paige on the way home to get the low-down on the day. Yep. She told me they actually had watched Pokoyo earlier, but only one. Not two, like yesterday. Oh, and her morning snack was chocolate chip cookies.

Listen, folks. If I want my daughter to watch TV inside on beautiful days, I’ll keep her at home, okay? And? I don’t even KEEP cookies in my house. So, take that. I’m actually paying them to take WORSE care of my daughter. What I wanted was for them to do messy crafts like painting or glitter glue. Things she’s not allowed to do at home, because frankly I don’t feel like cleaning it up!

I think the icing on the cake was today when Paige had to go potty as we were leaving, so the Colby girls and Feldmann girls all headed that way (seriously. Mom friends – what would we do without each other?). Paige was EXHAUSTED, which is what happens when she and her sister decide that 5:30 am is a great time to wake up and get out of bed. She had a bit of a meltdown in the hallway, and (I shit you not – Kelly, you can vouch for me) a teacher came out, looked at Paige, and shut her door. WE ARE IN THE EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT WING OF THIS SCHOOL!! (Sorry to get all shouty, but, really?!?! REALLY?!?!?).

So, tomorrow will be Paige’s last day at camp. (Not actually because I’m upset with the activities. We are heading to Gramma and Grandpa’s house for the weekend!) She really does seem to be learning a lot – she had her little map out at Target today and also helped me find our way home by giving me directions. She’s been using her ‘di-noculars’ to find things all afternoon. It’s pretty stinking cute.

But, note to teachers. Maybe try to time the TV shows so they’re over before the parents come back. And, try calling the cookies “energy bars” or something. They’re toddlers. They’ll totally buy it and your secret will be safe.

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