Best-Laid Plans

When will I ever learn?

When will I realize that saying something ridiculous out-loud is basically akin to guaranteeing that exact opposite will happen. Something ridiculous, say, like “Hey, I’ll get up extra-early tomorrow so I can get some things done before the girls wake up. Babe, wake me up at 6:00, okay?”

Why did I want to get up at 6:00 am? The girls and I were leaving the next afternoon for a week-long “girls trip” to Lake Maxinkuckee with their Nani, EJ, cousins and various other female family members who will be visiting (okay, fine. We’ll let the menfolk come too, but NOT until the weekend! Except Bostie. He can come whenever he wants. And not just because he sponsored this trip. And my sister-in-law is reading over my shoulder and just reminded me that my nephew is actually a boy. Poor Nate-dogg. When you read these someday know that it doesn’t mean I love you any less. There’s just a HELL of a lot of pink around here).

Phew. Holy digression.

Okay, where was I? Yes. Getting up early.

So, Derrick wakes me and I had the audacity to stay in bed for a few minutes and go through my plan for the morning. And then at 6:02 am Blair started screaming. And then at 6:15 am Paige decided she didn’t want to miss out on any of the fun, either.

Hmmmm. Girls – 1, Plan – 0.

So, later that day we get in the van to drive almost 2 hours to Culver. Thinking to myself (I didn’t dare say it out loud. Okay, I probably did say it out loud. More than once.), ‘this will be perfect.’ It’s 2:15, both girls will be tired. Blair will probably pass out and Paige might even fall asleep.

Blair: awake the entire ride and periodically yelling out “Mama!” And by periodically, I mean probably about once a minute. Paige: passed out for about 20 minutes, then asking how much longer until we could see her cousins. For 2 hours (minus 20 minutes).

Girls – 2, Plan – 0.

The rest of the afternoon/evening went well. And really just well by Feldmann Family standards. Only a few time-outs. Paige only screamed about 50% of the time. Blair actually let someone else hold her (okay, she was still screaming, but she didn’t try to jump out of their arms).

Seriously?!?! ANY amount of grouchiness is worth moments like this…

Bedtime came around, and I put Blair down first. Faaaaast asleep. Paige actually poopied on the potty (shhh…let’s just keep quiet and hope it continues) and went to bed. Ahhhh. Quiet time on the lake with family/friends and cocktails. I’ll admit it. I got cocky. So cocky, in fact, that I posted a picture to Instagram:

Fast-forward to 2:00 am (and try to keep in mind that all three girls and I are sharing a bedroom. Did I forget to mention that?). Blair wakes up screaming. Paige wakes up freaked out. Both girls are hysterical. I try to get Blair back to sleep in my bed, but Paige keeps saying she wants to get in bed with us, too. So I tell Paige I will be back and she can sleep with me, and take Blair downstairs to the couch and try to get her back to sleep. She is STILL hysterical, and now I can hear Paige yelling upstairs for me. So I go BACK upstairs, put Blair in her pack-n-play (which, as you can imagine, went REALLY well) and grabbed Paige. Went BACK downstairs to try to get Paige to sleep, but we could both hear Blair losing it upstairs (yes, Paige, I agree – Blair does sound unhappy).

So we had to do it. We had to wake up Nani so Paige could sleep with her. I knew she wouldn’t care, but waking up Nani is sort of like what I imagine waking up a really drunk crazy person must be like (no offense meant to dear Nani – she will agree). She typically jumps up. Asks about 300 non-sensical questions. Walks around aimlessly in small circles. Then falls back to sleep, with zero recollection of it in the morning. Nope. She’s not a heavy drinker. And, nope. She doesn’t take sleeping pills. It’s just her thing. We love her for it, and it has made for MANY a good story over the years.

I had my game plan. Paige and I walk in, and I gently tap Nani while whispering “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.” on repeat. I knew if she screamed, Paige would flip her shit and then we might as well just call it a night. Typical reaction by Nani – I’ll spare you the details (see paragraph above – it was a lot like that, but no surprised yelling “what’s wrong?!?!?!” Well, maybe just once. Or twice. But she really didn’t yell it. HEY! Give her a break! It’s her thing – and, seriously, it’s hilarious!). Paige got into bed with her and fell fast asleep (bless Nani’s heart – she did not. We owe her, big time!).

I head BACK upstairs to take care of Blair. Around 4:15-4:30 am I finally got her back to sleep. In my bed. Every time I tried to stand up with her she would quickly wake and express her dissatisfaction with the situation. So she snored next to me, while I worried about smothering her (yes, yes, yes. I realize she is 13 months old. Sue me – I’m a worrywart).

She woke up early this morning, and I happened to have my phone close by because I was texting Derrick throughout the night – if I’m not sleeping, neither is he…even if he’s 120 miles away. She sat up, crossed her legs and … well, this pretty much says it all:

Stinker. But, oh man, so FREAKING cute. Even on a few hours sleep…

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