Annoying … Adorable

I’ve been taking note recently on the interesting double standard I seem to have for behaviors in our house. There are certain things the girls do that make me want to grab a camera to get the visual, or write it down so I never forget it. However, oftentimes my husband will do the same thing, and it seriously makes me want to hurt him.

For example:

There is this adorable sound Paige makes when she’s really sleepy and sucking her thumb. Sometimes I can hear her from the other room. If I lay in bed with her as she drifts off to sleep, I think I could sit and listen to her all night. It makes my heart hurt a little to think that someday she will no longer be a toddler who sucks her thumb in that cute way (never mind even lets me into her bedroom).

However, those of you who know me well know that typically small, repetitive sounds drive me INSANE. Clicking your pen absentmindedly while you talk on the phone, honey? Don’t make me hurt you with that pen. Tapping your foot incessantly while you type as loudly as you can on your keyboard, darling? Seriously, I will break those fingers. Smacking your gum, dear? I will forcibly take it out of your mouth and toss it out the window.

Another example – lots of times when Paige and I are watching TV or reading a book, she will absentmindedly tickle my arm or play with my hair. Seriously? That feeling makes me want to have 10,000 kids. Can. Not. Stand. It.

Husband, on the other hand? He will sometimes try to rub his man toes on my feet while we watch TV at night. Listen, I’m all in for a good foot rub. But, more likely than not your toenails need clipped. And man feet are just gross! Bleachh!

Kid toots? Hil-arious. They will get a guffaw from me every time. And, more often than not, Paige accompanies hers with a loudly exclaimed “TOOT!” Even Blair realizes how funny they are. She tooted the other day when I lifted her bottom to change her diaper, and she looked at me and gave me a huge grin accompanied by a belly laugh! So funny!

Grown-up toots? Not so much. Not funny, and really, not even allowed (unless it’s me – then that is obviously okay. But, Derrick, you can’t laugh unless I laugh first – then it’s funny. If I ignore it, you must too. Especially if I’m pregnant.).

Now, keep in mind that this dichotomy works both ways. When I say something mundane like “Derrick, can you please hand me a spatula?” his typical response will be “You’re a spatula”. That? One of the reasons I married you, D. 
Paige, when I say “you are making bad choices” and you respond (in your sassiest voice) with “YOU a bad choice, Mommy!” Not funny. Hit the timeout chair, sister. 
You know the way. If you get lost, just follow the well-worn path. And whatever you do, DO NOT toot on the way, or I might just have to let this timeout slide. 

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