I’m not sure what exactly it is about me. I only sometimes wear perfume, and even then it’s not much. I make a conscious effort to keep my voice down. I know where all the creaks are on the floors. For the love – I don’t even shut the screen door all the way if I come home after hours.

And yet, it never ceases to fail.

I swear – my girls can LITERALLY smell when I enter a 100 yard radius of them. They can LITERALLY hear me arrive on the property. Even in their sleep. No, I take that back. Only while they sleep.

I could walk out of the room for 3 seconds and somehow scare the bejeezus out of Paige by walking back in and asking her a question. Somehow Blair always seems surprised to find me when she pulls back the (clear) shower curtain while I’m showering. But while they sleep, they transform into super-smelling, super-hearing bloodhounds.

Cases in point:

The girls’ Nani was watching them the other day. When I arrived at her house to pick them up, it was in the middle of nap time. The front door was open but the screen was locked. So, I walked up to the screen and whispered “Pssst” through the door (after specifically NOT locking my van so the horn wouldn’t honk, and being sure to quietly shut the car door. Perhaps I should have coasted into the driveway in Neutral??). Nani assured me the girls were sound asleep, and had been for about an hour. So, I sat on the couch. And both girls began to cry. Yep – nap time over.

The other night I had a pedicure and dinner with my sister-in-law, and I arrived home well after bedtime. I talked to Derrick on the way home, and he assured me the girls had gone to bed and were fast asleep. He had even checked on them about 20 minutes ago and he chuckled that Blair had been snoring with her little bottom in the air. Mind you, I was in Broad Ripple having dinner. It took me about 6 minutes to get into my car and drive home. I pulled into the driveway, walked into the house and this is what I found in the kitchen waiting for me:

Note how she looks pissed? That’s probably because I took the time to take her picture instead of taking her immediately and holding her (she was yelling “Mama,” for crying out loud). 
Any guesses on when Derrick said she woke up and started screaming? Um, about 1 second after I pulled into the driveway. Before I even had the car in Park.
See? Bloodhounds. Let me know if you have any missing person cases you need them to solve. Of course, it would have to be about me … here’s a hint: I’m probably just hiding in the laundry room.

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