I always think I need to write down some of the things that come out of my mouth on a daily basis (no, no – not the sweary-things, the crazy-things-I-never-could-have-contemplated-saying-things).
I mean, I have a MASTER’S DEGREE for God’s sake! I’m not bragging, I’m just sayin’. And, yet, below is a small sampling of the things I have actually said out loud. Recently. To another human.
- “Why on Earth would you put shredded cheese up your nose?”
- “Listen, tell me if you have to potty. DO NOT poop in the bathtub.”
- “Please don’t lick the toilet seat.”
- “Stop hissing at the cat.”
- “What are you eating and where did you find it?”
- “Hey, let’s not eat random things we find in our carseat, okay?”
- “Please take that bucket off your sister’s head”
- “Shoes are not for chewing”
- “Okay. You can wear your underwear backwards, but you have to put your pants on with the zipper in the front.”