What doesn’t kill you …

Now, listen. Before I start, let me say that anyone who has seen my iTunes music library knows that I LOVE me some Kelly Clarkson. But, I need to tell you this, Miss Clarkson – I respectfully disagree with the message in your song “Stronger“.

See, my 3 1/2 year-old daughter (who tends to be a bit, how-you-say, vocal in expressing how she feels) had her tonsils and adenoids removed this week. And, the majority of my family is out of town. Including my husband. Who left for CANADA the morning after her surgery (yes, not even out of town – out of the country).

To say things went well would be … well, it would be grossly inaccurate. First, there was some trouble during the surgery when her breathing tube fell out for a little over a minute, and in the rush to replace it the doctors scraped the tube against the back of her throat. Um, to say I freaked out when the ENT told me this story (while Paige was still in recovery, but BEFORE she woke) would also be grossly inaccurate. I LOST IT.

So, we got her home and things seemed to be about what we expected. A groggy, sleepy toddler fighting our efforts to feed and hydrate her (which, actually, doesn’t seem that different from life pre-surgery). Then Day 2 hit. Paige was a mess. Screaming, hysterical, not eating or drinking. Did I say screaming and hysterical already?

Fast forward to Day 5 (We will skip past Day 3 when I may or may not have practically sat on her in an effort to get her to just eat a popsicle. She had eaten NOTHING up to this point, and I could tell we were spiraling into a dangerous situation. So, we will also fast-forward past the part where I may or may not have supplemented said efforts with the phrase “Just eat the fucking popsicle!!” Excuse my language, but it’s the exact phrase I used. With my 3 year-old. Who was recovering from surgery. I am an awesome mom.) Paige was so scared to even drink that she would literally shake when I tried to get her to take a sip of water. She hadn’t peed in more than 12 hours, and the day before she only peed twice. Needless to say, we were headed to the Emergency Room.

Getting the IV in was awesome. April Fool’s. It took 3 nurses plus me to hold her down, and watching her go through this made me cry, which did not help the situation. She fell asleep within 5 minutes of starting a cocktail of fluids, morphine and anti-nausea medicine. We watched ‘Tangled’ (yes, out of the 15+ movies to choose, she chose the one that even I know every word to). They took the IV out about 3 hours later (another terrific ordeal), and she fell asleep on my lap for about 45 minutes while we waited for the doctor to come check on her. For once, it was 45 minutes I wished would stretch forever.

Now, things seem to be looking up. Today she has had an Ensure (the little peanut has lost 3.5 pounds – weight she did NOT have to spare to begin with), some applesauce and even a little Gatorade. Her daddy came home. Her mommy spent the morning in bed with her snuggling and watching movies. Let’s hope this trend continues.

So, where does Kelly Clarkson play into this, you ask? Well, Kelly, here is what I (respectfully, again) would like to tell you. When you become a mother you will quickly learn that what doesn’t kill you most definitely does NOT make you stronger.

It makes you very, VERY freaking tired.

One thought on “What doesn’t kill you …

  1. Pingback: New Beginnings | feldmama

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